"Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing." Irina Shayk
And that is pretty much a summary of my entire summer; the good definitely outweighed the bad, and here I am...still standing, and still writing...and eagerly pouring out my experience through my fingers onto this computer screen. As I am writing this and listening to a bomb ass Cold Play music playlist, I realize that if my summer had a soundtrack, it would include a variety of well balanced and tranquil yet song crying pieces of soul searching and intergalactic memories that helped re-energize me and redirect my focus to the great things in store for my life. That place I dared to wish to be away from was the same place I was longing for come the end of my first school year abroad (really only one semester)...and that same exact place turned out to be what I was once again ready to run away from (by hopping on a jet with my daughter and flying clear across the world for a redo of a fresh start).
What did my summer agenda consist of you may ask?
Family Fun (Outings and gatherings with my #crewlove and circle)
A celebration of life (funeral of a family friend)
A Custody Battle (Getting Ken's passport to travel)
Seeing old friends (and the emotions behind it)
An entire month of watching television and movies and eating (A slight depression issue)
Realizing the important things in life
My summer started off like any other teacher's summer: I was hyped and filled will anticipation of what wonderful things would come my way: family, friends, hangouts, trips, and all the wonderful I could eat. I got a chance to go to one last brunch with a new friend I've met here on my abroad journey; it was kind of our celebration to the end of a successful school year and beginning of a wonderful summer. Next thing you know, it was time for me to fly out to America: HOME SWEET HOME, HERE I COME!
However, unlike other teachers, there was one thing lingering over my shoulders that I had to take care of immediately before I felt like I could enjoy my much needed break in America I had worked hard emotionally and mentally to get to, and that was getting my daughter squared away to come and live with me abroad here in Sharjah.
After 17 hours worth of travel, I got off the plane and headed straight towards unfortunate news; a dear friend of the family lost her battle with caner and died followed by her best friend passing away right after her. So basically, two funerals were held within in a week's time. My emotions were extremely high as I waited to see my daughter's face after almost 6 long months of being away from each other, so I think that added to my semi emotional breakdown as I cried right there in the waiting area on Skype with my sister waiting for my ride to pick me up. Ms. Jean was not just a hair dresser, but in fact wore many hats and was adored by all that loved her. I am glad for the years she spent not only making sure our hair was laid, but that our souls and spirits were fed. Ms. Erma Jean Joiner will be missed. #rip #cancersucks
I wiped my tears, said a prayer for her family, and gathered my things together as my ride called to tell me they were outside waiting...and guess who also was out there waiting for me unexpectedly....my Ken Ken! Now, I wanted to surprise her, so I didn't tell her exactly when I was coming. However, things didn't go according to plan, and she ended up surprising me instead. Either way, I was happy to see her face and just glad I was in her presence. As soon as I saw her get out of the car, I ran up to her and cried like a big baby as I spun her around and rubbed her face remembering how I last left it. It was a real Kodak commercial moment as bystanders smiled. My vibe was on 100 but I felt as if her vibe was on 20. I don't know what it was, but I felt that my baby wasn't as excited to see me as I was to see her. Maybe it was all in my head, maybe she was in a state of shock, maybe she was so excited she didn't really know how to react. To this day, I really don't know, but the ride back to the hotel was spent holding hands and prayers of thanksgiving for God allowing me a safe journey and a reuniting moment with the love of my life.
So, I am reunited with my love. Let the summer officially begin right? Nah. In fact, let the journey of operation #KenisUAEbound commence. When I decided that what was missing from my abroad journey was my daughter, and that I couldn't spend another year without her here, I didn't anticipate all the emotions, attitudes, hurt feelings, drama, tears, and work it would take to make it possible. I really thought I would be able to work everything out as I planned once I reached the states. But as the saying goes, "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans". He had more in stored for me than I was ready to take on, but nevertheless, I came, I saw, and I conquered.
Operation #KenisUAEbound consisted of the following:
(This is to help people who are in a somewhat similar situation of not being married their child's father, but still needing legal documentation in order to travel abroad with your child/children)1) I walked into a conversation with her father where I assumed we would be finalizing what was spoken over the phone months before my arrival. Wrong. It instead turned into the start of what felt like was a brewing war with each check point being a small battle.
2) Emotions were at an all time high, so after a night at the hotel and conversations with my mother and bestie, my nerves were chilled and I approached the situation with a calmer head and spirit the following day. Still no luck. It was then that I learned that he nor his family approved of our daughter going to live with me overseas: reasons being...she was too young, she would be away from her family, it was too far away, and that I wasn't allowing her to be in a stable living environment. Although I tried reasoning with him with the positive of the situation, his opinion of the matter didn't change and therefore he stated that he wasn't going to sign the required papers needed for her passport and withdrawal from school. This meant going to court.
3) So, because her father and I had her out of wedlock, I had to petition the court for passport approval. This included reaching out to people who had similar situations such as myself who offered suggestions, advice, and personal testimonials that would help me with the overall process.
-Complete petition for a passport and turn in the documents to the county clerk where my child resided
- Paid the fee to get a court date and had her father served
- Went to court and let the judge decide: Since he did not have her legitimized (which grants the father legal rights), and I am the full custodial, my motion was granted and he was issued to sign any needed documentation allowing for her to get a passport and travel.
-Since the matter of legitimization was brought to his attention, he decided to have me served on the issue. However, the court date is pending for various reasons.
4) We went to the passport offices in our local area to have our daughter sworn in, I paid the passport fees, and had her passport expedited to ensure it arrived in time before our approaching travel date. We also had the permission letter needed by the father signed and notarized, and went to withdrawal her from school so that I could receive her last report card and transfer letter for enrolling her in her new school in Sharjah (since he was the one to enroll her, he was the only one that could withdrawal her in the state of GA)
5) I then went to the local health department to make sure immunization was up-to-date
6) 2 weeks later, her passport arrived via delivery and I then had everything I needed to travel abroad with my baby girl
Now, through all of this emotional confusion of getting my daughter to Sharjah, I still managed to squeeze in a full month of quality time with my loved ones which included a trip to Manhattan, New York with my daughter (Posting an entire blog on it), celebrating the 4th of July at Callaway Gardens by treating sister, niece, and nephews with a v.i.p. style weekend getaway, random quality time moments with family and friends in Columbus and Atlanta Georgia, and a full month of doing absolutely nothing as I bounced from the sofa to the bed (and then back to the sofa) watching daily marathons of my favorite show "Law and Order SVU and old black pimp movies on the Firestick.
When I arrived....
Spent the day spoiling my daughter and niece...
Getaway to Callaway Gardens... We we received a free upgrade to one of the biggest suites available. We also went to the beach, saw a circus act put on by university students, saw fireworks, and took a visit to the butterfly exhibit and gardens.
4th of July... We went swimming and enjoyed the festivities of downtown Columbus, Ga with frozen yogurt and fireworks
StayCation in Atlanta...We checked in to a really nice hotel in Buckhead after taking a ride down memory lane by showing the kids where I grew up. We pigged out on bbq from the infamous JJ's rib shack and I got a chance to eat at a highly recommended spot for breakfast.
Time spent with family and friends...It was good being able to catch up with some of my family and friends while I was there. We didn't have much time together, but inshallah we shall in the near future.
It was during that month of August that I was officially ready to get back to Sharjah and back to my own space. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with my loved ones and seeing everyone again, but I was still long over due for a redo of a fresh start. I needed to get back to where things made sense. You see, I was feeling out of place being home as I noticed everyone in my life getting on with their lives whether I was there or not. Things were nothing like I thought they would be by the time August hit. I was excited because I had been away for awhile and felt all would be more than enthusiastic with my return. The hype had worn off though as people carried on with their regularly scheduled program. Friends seem to be less available and more distant and I was feeling alone. The circle around me seemed to be turning into the size of a period and it made me uneasy, uncomfortable, and feeling lost and completely forgotten about. I soon had to understand though that as my situation changes, so will the situation that surrounds me and that I could either let it be for the good or let it ruin me. In order to have peace of mind, I had to let it all go and just focus on the matter at hand which were my goals, aspirations, and responsibilities. I also became more appreciative of the people who had always been there for me no matter what and continue to do so til this day.
Family Send off...Ken had finally received her passport, so it was time to DIP! #MommyandMeWorldTravelers
So we made it to Sharjah!...and I realize on this journey thus far that it really is what I decide to make it. People come and go, challenges will arise, feelings will get hurt, and there will be dealings with upsetting issues and concerns. These things are naturally apart of life. However, as I stated the earlier, the good ALWAYS out weigh the bad and what doesn't kill you in fact does make you stronger (it's not a cliche)...and at the end of those difficult moments, when you overcome them and see how far you've come, a sense of pride overfills your spirit with not only relief, but joy. This describes my exact moment as I look back on my summer and see the progress I made. I have my daughter here with me, I've started grad school after putting it off for 7 years, I'm back running and trying to put forth an effort to get my daughter and I healthier, and I'm writing again. I've created an entire list of goals I want to accomplish by this time next year and if I focus and work to become better disciplined, I can have exactly what I want with hard work, patience, practice, and prayer. I've also had to let go of some people and things that seemed to be distractions, but in return, God replaced them with what he feels is best for my life at the moment. He has already given me the vision and the means to let it manifest, but faith without work is dead, meaning it is not enough to just dream it, but I have to believe it, and then receive it with action instead of just talk. I've come too far to sabotage myself with things and people beyond my own control. It's BEEN time to focus on only the things that matter; that's the fist full of dependable people I can count on no matter what, my health and strength within me to keep going no matter what comes my way, a determined mindset, and the love and support of a daughter who motivates me to be the best that I can be. With a determination such as mine, I'M UNSTOPPABLE!
"I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play
I'm so confident
Yeah, I'm unstoppable today"
Sia *Unstoppable
